Some people dream about knife-wielding maniacs, alien invasions and the end of the world, flying yogurt or even sink parties. I had this horrible nightmare about vanity sizing. You know, the sizing protocol whereby a 12 today is much much bigger than a 12 was in 1950. I know this because I wore my grandmother's wedding dress, which she bought off the rack at Saks in 1947 - it was a size 12. And then my mom had it altered a bunch when she got married, and then I had to get it altered a bunch yet again to fit my 2003-sized self.
Well in my dream, I was trying on the skinniest jeans ever, and so happy because they were fitting me so nicely. It started off great. And then all of a sudden I saw the label and they were 20 sizes bigger than any of my usual sizes (ranging across many sizes because of the aforementioned arbitrary sizing). And the snotty salesgirl in my dream said they were going back to the old system. NOOOOO!
So I guess they can't have vanity sizing for men because aren't the sizes actually related to inches, waist, neck etc. What a good idea. I'm just as happy not to shop for everything like I shop for bras though I guess. I can't even really get that right, even though it's supposedly objective. I know someone professional could measure me at a Victoria's Secret, because every time I go in there, someone offers. I know that they are professionals, and theoretically there should be nothing awkward, but that seems like one of the more psychically painful interactions I could subject myself to. What kind of small talk would you make when she is measuring you in your old bra? Will she comment on the ratty state of the old undergarments to go for the upsell? Or will I say, wow your hands are warm. Shudder.
5 comments:
So many things to say and agree with.My wedding dress was an 18 although at the time I was not an 18...I was more like a fourteen and even the 18 was the tinest 18 you have ever seen....I want credit for it being a smaller than average size 18...I think they should have made mention of that on the label come to think of it...Sz-tinyest of tiny 18 that would have been better anyhow.
As for getting measured by someone...unless that someone was my doctor I would have to decline...it just falls into the same catagory as my yeast infection target employee interaction..."so how was school today?Do you like my boobs?Oh great,I wait while you talk to your boyfriend on your cell...yeah I can't imagine it would be the best level of professionalism.
Yes, I believe guys' sizes do run in actual inches, but some stores do run smaller than others. For instance, I get smaller jeans at Abercrombie than GAP...it's kind of like shoes.
Oh I will not buy clothes if they are above my normal size. I just refuse. And why does it seem they bridal section is terrible. Every bridemaids dress that I have had to buy has been 4 sizes bigger than my normal size and makes me feel like a cow.
I'm scared the VS ladies would laugh at me because I have been wearing the wrong size bra for my entire bra wearing life. Why don't I just buck up and get measured so I will then have the right size? Way to stressful.
I've long since given up on feeling awkward about being measured. I honestly think I can thank my bikini waxes for getting over any fear of any service professional seeing me scatily clad. Being scantily clad with a gentleman caller is a whole other story, though.
I hate that sizes are such a big deal. I think that I'm going to get over that hangup next. I think I have to because I love chocolate way too much.
For me, I think that getting measured by the VS girl would have to be part of a 12 step program on the way to bikini waxing. There might be more than 12 steps between me and a bikini waxing actually.
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